30 Oct

Trick or Treat: Halloween can be equal parts sweet and scary, but relationships don’t have to be.

Trick or Treat: Halloween can be equal parts sweet and scary, but relationships don’t have to be.

Sometimes, singles enter a cycle where romance blossoms and everything seems perfect, until it’s not. Because the beginning of the relationship provided so much joy, one or both partners will find themselves fighting and clawing to return to that good place they once knew, only to realize that they couldn’t get back because one or neither of them were being their true selves. They were employing false personas in order to manufacture what they had hoped could turn into true love (which for obvious reasons never really works). Inevitably, when faced with the fact that the relationship is over, someone grows resentful because they’ve wasted precious time on a relationship that went nowhere.

As if this weren’t bad enough, these singles now bruised, battered, and back on the dating scene finding themselves more determined than ever to make it work with someone new. Their desire to achieve whatever dating milestone they fancy (moving-in, engagement, or marriage) motivates them to project what they believe be the best version of themselves (translation: faking it), thus the sweet to spooky cycle is perpetuated.

While it may be impossible to completely bypass this type of relationship hamster wheel, overtime some advice has emerged that can help couples either reach a place of understanding and honesty with the potential for a long and happy future, or face facts and realize that what started as a dream is now a full-blown fight fest.

  1. Avoid over texting. Yes, texting is quick and convenient, and as a result, it has become the primary channel of miscommunication for an entire generation. Early on, singles miss out on the give and take that fosters a foundation of understanding. Rather, texters have the opportunity to overthink incoming and outgoing messages and even crowdsource their responses from friends. Furthermore, Relationship Detective Stephanie Michele1 points out, “There are no amounts of emoticons that make up for the lack of communication cues that are lost in text communication especially when communicating with someone new.”
  1. Avoid overtime. New pairs have the tendency to become infatuated to the point where they fail to even come up for air. They’re obsessed with one another, they can’t see anything beyond their partner, but alas the world keeps on spinning. Friends, family, and personal endeavors are neglected. This state of obsession is not sustainable, plus, it’s not an accurate forecast for the future of the relationship. Say things are going great when the couple is together 24/7 but when time with friends finally resumes, one may find out that they’re dating someone with major trust issues. Or, someone who seemed desirable and dreamy is suddenly dull and desperate because they have nothing going on in their own lives outside of the relationship. If you’re unsure, a good rule of thumb is 50:30:20. Half of all free time can be spent with a partner, thirty-percent with friends, and twenty-percent for alone time and reflection.
  1. Avoid excessive research. The internet can be a wonderful thing, but it can also be kryptonite to a super relationship. These days, rather than patiently getting to know someone, daters become cyber-Sherlock Holmes-es unearthing every post, every tweet, and every photo that’s ever graced the world wide web. Alternatively, the desire to learn more about significant others can be satisfied online using advanced data science. Personality profiling site pLookup.com allows daters to locate the personality profile of their guy or gal complete with dating and communication tips, an overview of their love personality, as well as a preview of what can be expected behind closed doors. The data scientists at pLookup.com are able to accurately assign a personality profile to nearly everyone in the United States without the use of tests, surveys, or interviews. The insight acquired via a quick search on pLookup.com can satisfy one’s need to know without turning them into a know-it-all. Essentially an individual is learning all about the who, while leaving the what, where, why, and when to their partner.
  1. Avoid overstaying in the relationship. Sometimes the greatest thing one can do for themselves and the person they are dating is to walk away. Once happily ever after doesn’t look like a feasible option, it can be better to step aside so that both people are available for what could be a better, more honest, and longer-lasting relationship. Parting ways in a timely fashion also has added benefits such as the ability to remain friends (or at the very least civil acquaintances) or the potential to give it another shot should both individuals deem a round-two worthwhile. It’s the relationships that are drawn out too long or those which end in emotional or physical infidelity that generally end up being the real horror shows.

By visiting pLookup.com singles have better odds of avoiding relationships that start sweet and end up spooky. To learn more about the personality types of your significant other, friends, family, coworkers, celebrities, and more, check out pLookup.com today.

1 Why Texting Should Not Be Used in a New Relationship, Stephanie Michele-https://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-michele/why-texting-should-not-be_b_8147536.html